Some of this may be NSFW (Not Safe For Work) – unless you work in a super cool place, then you are lucky and should stay there.
What it is: The website explains it better than I can:
“Every 3 months, we deliver our most adored sex toy finds in the Unbound Box. From fun to kinky and everything in between, we shack up with the most sought out brands and share our tips and tricks to get the most of your Unbound experience.”
This is supposed to be a very female oriented and friendly box. This isn’t one of those: Dates in a box things. These boxes usually have a female geared “toy” in them. This one didn’t. Bummer.
This box cost $65 per quarter. So basically, $65 per box – with free shipping. It comes in a plain brown cardboard box addressed from “David Rentz” in NYC – which had me so confused when I saw the box, because I only ordered it four days ago.
They shipped me the latest box which is titled: The Erotic Education Box
1: The Big Book of Submission:
Well then. Guess I have reading material for the weekend. They even gave me a bookmark to go with it:
Sexy stuff. This better be more impressive writing than 50 Shades of Gray – because I never got what all the fuss was about. That book was so freaking boring I thought I would lose my mind. It was clearly evident from the writing, that the author of that book had never truly experienced any of the things she was writing about – because I’m damned sure she wouldn’t have described them the way she did. Oh, and if she wrote about the main girl’s “Inner Goddess” one more time I would have puked. Jesus, what was the story with that? Ok enough about that book. It sickens me that I could have destroyed that book with one of my own and I didn’t and now that creepy, geeky prude author and her Inner Goddess are filthy rich and I still have to report to the office everyday.
2: Babeland Massage Candle
The card said this was Honey Vanilla flavored, but mine is Honey Almond. I don’t like almonds, but if this stuff is used the way it’s intended, I don’t think it will matter. I wonder if you have a nut allergy if you can still use this?
The card says to light the candle, wait 10 minutes and use the “handy brush” to apply the warm wax to skin. The card says this is great with a partner or “worth trying alone, too!” Ummmm. Nope. Not gonna use it alone. That’s a little passed weird for me.
It came with matches and a brush and it smells amazing. The ingredients say it has jojoba, avocado, coconut oil and Vitamin E – so your skin will get all conditioned while you get a warm massage. Awesome.
3: Maison Close La Petite Secret Lingerie.
La Petite? Try La Panothingatall. This is interesting because it’s very small and it’s one size fits all. I think the lady on the tiny, teeny box makes it look sexy – but I think it would just make me giggle like a little kid. I’m goofy like that I guess.
4: Maison Close La Petite Leçon:
It’s a ruler Y’all. A sexed up, velvet enclosed ruler – but just a ruler. I have a regular old green one on my dresser right now – and now I will giggle everytime I see that one. If you were a single lady and got this box – how would you bring this ruler up in a casual, yet sexy way?
5: Sustain Condoms Ultra Thin 3 pack:
These are Vegan and Fair Trade – if that’s important to you. They are also from a female founded company and the packaging is cute. I wouldn’t feel weird carrying these in my purse because I don’t think people would be able to easily guess what they were from the wrapper.
So that’s it. Is that box worth $65? I don’t think so – but that’s my opinion. Now, the experiences you might be able to create from the contents of the box could very well make it beyond worth the cost of the box…..but I will leave that up to you.